Hall of Pain # 5 – MMA Fighter + Pitbulls = ouch


Thankfully this post is photo-free so don’t worry!

Hall of Pain fans, I give you the story of TUF contestant Kyacey Uscola and the pitbull encounter (courtesy of bloodyelbow):

Stephan Bonnar: So Kyacey, after you got off the show you had a pretty interesting fight, and this one was not with humans but rather with a pack of pit bulls. What happened?

Kyacey Uscola: I was walking up to the side of the (TUF) house, along the road, when these dogs sort of ran up on me and cornered me, and um I’m an idiot I didn’t run when I should’ve ran, I squared off with them and sliced my hand punching one in the teeth. Got chunks bitten out of my shoulder, hip, hamstring and the uh money one was that they bit through my urethra and uh I had to have a catheter for two weeks…

SB: The tooth actually pierced through your penis?

KU: Yeah, all the way through.

SB: It bit a hole in it?

KU: Yeah.

SB: Holy shit.

SB: At any point did you try choking the dog out? Or did you just throw strikes?

KU: I didn’t want to get on the ground with them, it was all sprawl and brawl man.

SB: So not too different from how you fight then…

KU: Not too much.

KU: The hooks I threw were from the hip, everything was no technique, soccer kicks. (gestures wildly)

SB: That was a month ago, how’s the recovery? Able to train again?

KU: Getting there, somewhat 10 days ago I got into it.

SB: How about you and the wife?

KU: Just easing in to things.

SB: Maybe start with some blumpkins.

If you are anything like me, you are probably thinking 2 things right now:

1 – “Jesus Christ that had to hurt”
2- “What the hell are blumpkins”

In the name of research and to help out my dedicated readers, I turned to my ever reliable friend mr Google for the answer to number 2…..and number 2 is VERY appropriate:

“A Blumpkin is the act of performing fellatio whilst the recipient is defecating on the toilet”

Ermmmm…… that’s just WRONG: Sometimes ignorance really is bliss!

*NB: As a social experiment, I have put blumpkins in the search tags for this post. My hit stats will reveal exactly how many people arrive here whilst searching for blumpkins!! Yeah that’s right, I mean you ya sicko!! 😀

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